After school, one of my teens disappeared into her bedroom, and the other lugged his two-ton bag to his desk in the living room. Then, the house fell silent as each kid settled into…what? Homework? Listening to music and reading? Video games? A few short years ago, their afterschool routine involved running around the playground for an hour and spilling the craft supply box on the kitchen table to find the right color marker. Why don’t I see my teens playing anymore?
Well, listening to music, reading, and video games are ways for teens to play. But I wanted to find other opportunities for them during the week to play because play is beneficial and healthy in many ways for everyone, of all ages. Here are 5 ways to get teens playing more and why it’s so good for them.
1. Follow their trail of curiosity.
A couple weeks ago, my daughter started blasting K-Pop in the kitchen after school. I asked her about the music, and it started a conversation about all things Korean. She’s since gotten curious about learning the Korean language and cooking Korean food. Ask your teens: What are you curious about? Then encourage them to find out more.
Benefit: Academic and social pressure can lead to anxiety and depression. But play can give teens a break. Play can help kids feel competent in other areas of their lives too.
2. Encourage playing at home.
Who knew that playing ping-pong with my teen would be such an easy way to play AND chat? Teens can play cards and board games with siblings or friends, but they can also do things they enjoy on their own. The teenage boy next door to me shoots hoops in his driveway after school. What does your teen like to do? You might think about what he enjoyed when he was younger and try to help him get back into that activity.
Benefit: Playing at home gives teens time to use their imaginations. They might discover skills or interests they didn’t know they had. Also, they might learn more about who they are and what they can do.
3. Steer them toward organized activities.
Playing an organized sport is good for teens, even if they’re not all-stars. James Hudziak, MD, says kids have fewer emotional and behavioral problems and are less likely to do drugs or have bad body image if they play a sport. He believes kids should continue with a sport past age 13, even recreationally.
Sports aren’t the only organized activity that’ll benefit your teen. What about school clubs? A church youth group? Martial arts? A reading or gaming club for teens at the library? With teens, playing could mean a number of things. Ask your teen: What new activity can you try this season? Do you have a friend who might want to join you?
Benefit: There’s value in socializing and working toward a common goal under another adult’s leadership. Organized play builds social and team-building skills and it’s also a healthy break from screens.
4. Try new activities with your teen.
I spotted my friend and her daughter heading to a yoga class the other day, mats under their arms, and thought, How cool! They have a mother-daughter activity on the calendar each week! There are lots of activities to do with teenagers that can bring all the mental and physical health benefits of playing. Brainstorm with your son or daughter to come up with something you both might enjoy. Ask your teen: What’s something you’ve wanted to try and haven’t gotten around to doing?
Benefit: Trying new activities allows teens to be vulnerable, mess up, recover, and grow.
5. Leave time and space in the week for downtime.
With tough classes and after-school activities, it might be hard to find any free time in your teen’s schedule. But downtime is crucial to give teens time to play, create, and reflect. When I took my teen daughter’s phone away last week, she complained, “I’m bored!” But later, I found her sculpting animals out of clay on her bedroom floor. Ask your teen: What would you do if you had an hour a day with no homework, no screens, and nowhere you had to be?
Benefit: Downtime gives teens a mental break and “leaves more room for the brain to wander and reflect,” says teen psychologist Lisa Damour. Stepping away from screens can also be beneficial for teens’ emotional and mental health.
We see less of teens playing these days unless there’s a screen involved. What activities can you promote at your home that are tech-free?
